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Wednesday, February 24, 2016

College Reorganization Talks


Anonymous said...

UT senior administrators are glowing with pride following a new agreement between LLSS and COCA faculty members that is being trumpeted as the first step toward sustainable national educational excellence for UT.

Pending final approval of the merger of the two colleges, UT spokesman Piffle said that faculty members have agreed that new organizational charts will be printed only in the school colors of midnight blue and gold.

“Who doesn’t love org charts?” the spokesman asked. “Let me see a show of hands. This is a monumental breakthrough. Just think of the great merger org charts in history—Daimler and Chrysler, for example.”

“It took weeks of laborious planning and exhaustive negotiations to thoughtfully conceive and carefully execute this accord. Much the way investment bankers loved to sell Goldman-Sachs Abacus bonds to widows and orphans that they ran into at the airports, our faculty just love to talk to discuss the benefits of this impending union that these charts will reflect.”

Meanwhile, College of Natural Sciences and Mathematics faculty members, expressed frustration about continued merger discussions.

“I welcome a merger with LLSS and COCA the same way colonial assemblies viewed the Stamp Act,” harrumphed an NSM faculty member who showed surprising American history chops. “I don’t know whether to respond to the latest proposals from the other colleges or go bowling.”

Piffle refused to confirm a report that the UT president was overheard humming “Won’t be Fooled Again,” a 1971 song by the British rock group The Who, while on her way a meeting with LLSS-COCA faculty members where she planned to submit five pages of true-or-false questions to faculty concerning the foreign languages.

Piffle said that it will be at least one week before the official results of the foreign language requirement referendum are known.

"It will take a few days before we agree on what margin of victory to declare for the foreign language requirement. Some of us think ninety five percent is the correct number, others are proposing seventy percent," he said.

Anonymous said...

great cover page for this post, I swear I see some COCA and COMM faculty

Anonymous said...

Let's not leave out the LSS folks, who were quite well represented.

Anonymous said...

Dear CoCA & LLSS Faculty,

We want to thank you and your College Councils for all of your work these past 7 months to explore and navigate the possibilities for merging CoCA and LLSS.
As time has progressed and our budget realities have emerged, it has become clear that we need to move forward with this merger.

We now ask that Dean Deb Davis and Dean Jamie Barlowe take the current proposals which have been drafted and work together to draft a proposal that presents a win-win situation. This draft would then be reviewed by a group of faculty for their input. As we have indicated, a school within a college is certainly a viable option.

Once again, we want to thank you for all of your thoughtful input to date—the emerging college will be much better because of the input.

Sharon L. Gaber, Ph.D. John A. Barrett Jr, JD
President Interim Provost and Executive Vice President for Academic Affairs

Anonymous said...

The birds look more like some of our LSSSer colleagues.

Anonymous said...

let the real fun begin now with the merger!