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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

El Supremo Craps Out

FYI From LLSS Council:

The results of the college-wide vote on adding the "supremacy" clause and on adding the "delegation" clause to the Constitution of the Faculty of the College of Languages, Literature and Social Sciences are in.  A two-thirds majority voting in the affirmative is required for an amendment to pass. Each of the proposed amendments was defeated by a very large margin.

Add the Supremacy Clause to the Constitution?
Yes – 18
No – 39
The measure failed to pass.

Add the Delegation Clause to the Constitution?
Yes – 18
No – 44
The measure failed to pass.


Anonymous said...

"How do you dare stupid little faculty to contradict my holy pronouncements? I will smash you like maggots"
El Gordo a.k.a. JL.

Anonymous said...

when are we going to see results from Faculty Senate resolution of the same since that voting also closed recently??

Anonymous said...

So is the issue laid permanently to rest now or will there be a Round 2... and 3...?

Anonymous said...

re earlier post re Blade salary database

it's still there - what are u talking about?

Anonymous said...

It strikes me that the BoT and the President has caused the faculty to identify themselves with a group that will defend its rights, ethics, functions and calling, and a group that will not. If BoT continues with this nonsense (there is no reason to believe otherwise at this point) a faculty strike is the inevitable outcome. Thus the vote is an approximate representation of those that will strike and those that will not. I wish you well but I foresee a struggle that may be more like the struggle of the Air traffic controllers of the Reagan years than like labor disputes of yester years.

Anonymous said...

Stay strong, faculty. You can outlast this scumbag.

Anonymous said...

The future of higher ed in Ohio will be decided in the next rounds of state elections, culminating in the gubernatorial election.

Anonymous said...

How to Create an Academic Pseudo-Discipline: Dr. Farnsworth P. Phony, PhD, and The History and Development of Academic Phony Phone Book Studies

Perhaps it might be instructive to examine the etiology of one of the most pernicious invasive species ever to have encroached upon the delicate ecosystem of higher education: Homo Pseudo-Academicus.

In order to help better understand how and why pseudo-intellectual pseudo-academics and their pseudo-disciplines, programs, departments and nefarious identity politics agendas have proliferated and managed to infiltrate and overwhelm American (and indeed many world) colleges and universities – we present the following highlights from a recent review of a book that nicely illustrates one particular example among many of how different sub-species of Homo Pseudo-Academicus manage to evolve and mutate:

“The History and Development of the Newfangled Academic Discipline of Phony Phone Book Kabbalistic Ouija Board Textual Deconstruction Exegesis and Hermeneutic Studies,” (Harvard University Press – 2012) by Dr. Gillian R. Poser-Charlatan, PhD, Harvard University Distinguished Gilligan’s Island Professor of Phony Phone Book Kabbalistic Ouija Board Textual Deconstruction Exegesis and Hermeneutic Studies and Founding Dean of the Phony College of Phony Phone Book Kabbalistic Ouija Board Textual Deconstruction Exegesis and Hermeneutic Studies at Harvard University.

The review of Ms. Dr. Poser-Charlatan’s book, which appeared in The Journal of Phony Phone Book Kabbalistic Ouija Board Textual Deconstruction Exegesis and Hermeneutic Studies – highlights some of the key chapters and major topics discussed in this landmark work, including:

I. In The Beginning: The Guru, Dr. Farnsworth P. Phony, PhD, receives The Divine Tablets and Teachings at Mt. Sinai.

Photo: Dr. Phony with his devoted acolyte and tireless protégée, Ms. Starry-Eyed Sycophant (later to become Mrs. Sycophant-Phony, PhD).

II. Dr. Phony’s Revelation of The Sacred Texts – Pentateuch: Dr. Phony channels the ghosts of Paracelsus, Madame Blavatsky, Rudolf Steiner and L. Ron Hubbard to transcribe the Sacred Phony Scriptures and Priestly Illuminati Commentaries and Interpretations of the New York, Boston, LA, Chicago and Atlanta phone books.

The Phony Mission: To meticulously analyze, measure, interpret, quantify, qualify, deconstruct, reconstruct, conjure, catalog and cross-reference every number and letter of every entry of every telephone book in the world (utilizing, among other sophisticated techniques, occult Abulafian and Hermetic hieroglyphic methodologies and Heideggerian absence/presence of being/with Rorschach white space free association) – to fight the oppression and under-representation of each and every phone book listing and to spread the cause of Phonyism worldwide – because it’s for social justice and change and kids and education and diversity and world peace and it helps raise awareness and stop racism, sexism, fascism and global warming. We will not rest until our sacred Phony mission has come to complete transcendent utopian realization.

III. Foundation Story: Establishing the Holy Apostolic Pseudo-Academic Church of Phony.

IV. The Disciples: The training and sending forth of the devout Phony PhD Apostles to spread the Phony Gospel among the faithful as well as among the infidels.

V. Early Persecutions and Acts of the Martyrs: The typical linear thinking patriarchal doubters, heretics and Nazis are cowed into submission by Phony demagoguery and armies of angry Phonies marching on campus – weeping, rending their garments and chanting slogans like “Well behaved Phonies seldom make history”. Even Ivy League university presidents will eventually learn the hard way they dare not question the activities or funding levels for Departments of Phony Phone Book Studies. The need for a Phony American president is soon realized.


Anonymous said...

Phony 2

VI. The Flight Out of Egypt – Pharaoh Pursues Dr. Phony and the Chosen Tribe of Phonies – Parting of the Red Sea – Journey to India and Discovery of the Seventh Incarnated Phony Avatar, Krishna-Phony – Temptation in the Desert – Visitation of Gurdjieff and the Ascended Masters – Casting Out the Demons of Doubt – Buns of Steel, Tony Robbins and The South Beach Diet – Reaching The Promised Land – Establishing the first Department of Phony Phone Book Studies at Punxsutawney Community College, Punxsutawney, PA, in 1963.

Photo caption: Dr. Farnsworth P. Phony, PhD and his newlywed wife, Mrs. Starry-Eyed Sycophant-Phony, PhD (the first person to receive a PhD from the Phony Institute of Phony Phone Book Studies) attending the inaugural gala and Phony Phone Book Department ribbon cutting. Dr. Phony is shown shaking hands with Dr. Gladys Phony-Baloney, PhD, President of Punxsutawney Community College and long-suffering sister of Dr. Farnsworth P. Phony.

XI. Dr. Phony is betrayed in the cabbage patch by The Beloved Apostle, Bob (Bill Murray). He is subsequently dragged before the Deans and High Priests of the Temple of Academe to account for himself in 1967 (The Babylonian Captivity) – How Dr. Phony schools the Pharisees of the Ivory Tower, cites the Phony Scriptures from memory and demands equal rights for the “theosophical scientological science” of Phony Phone Book Studies – How the Pharisees are befuddled by the impenetrable gibberish of Dr. Phony and terrified when he strikes the ground with his Magic Wand of Postmodern Alterity, calling down unnamed horrible plagues of diversity and multiculturalism upon the cowering academics and playing the dreaded race and gender cards – and so the Deans and High Priests must finally submit to the demands of the Phonies and throw open The Sacred Gates of the Ivory Tower – Of the ensuing Bacchanalian victory celebrations among the faithful hordes, dubbed by later Phony historians and hagiographers as The Phony Summer of Love.

Emboldened by these dramatic and unexpected Phony successes and inroads (and also by the ingestion of prodigious amounts of the wildly popular Postmodern Theoretical Anesthetic – see clip below) and accordingly feeling like they are all invincible, born to be wild barbarian hordes of the Postmodern New Age, hundreds of thousands of Phony wannabes gleefully hop aboard the careerist PhD Phony Express – sometimes also affectionately called The Phony Magic Bus. It would prove to be a wild ride indeed.

From such humble beginnings, Marxist-Feminist Postmodern Phonyism would span the globe, from Harvard to Stanford and from Paris to Abu-Dhabi, bringing the message of Phony Phone Book Studies to thousands of colleges and universities worldwide – leading to Dr. Phony’s numerous appearances on Oprah and The View and spawning countless departments, colleges and research institutes, such as the Numero Uno Institutio de Directorio Telefónico y Estúpido Mio y Tu Mama Tambien Studies at the University of Tijuana, Tijuana, Mexico.


Anonymous said...

Phony 4

Or, you can just call our toll free number: 1-866-MY PHONY.

All callers will receive a free “Well behaved Phonies seldom make history” bumper sticker, a Dr. Phony Mickey Mouse Club sheepskin wall plaque certificate of authentic Phonyism, a Phony Postmodern Jargon Generator Decoder Ring and your very own One Mindless Conformist Intolerant Totalitarian MoFo PoMo Ideology Fits All “Got Phony?” matching T-shirt and cap, emblazoned with the iconic image of (please choose one from the following assortment):

Karl Marx, Friedrich Nietzsche, Vladimir Lenin, Chairman Mao, Ho Chi Minh, Che Guevara, Marilyn Monroe, Andy Warhol, Malcolm X, John Lennon, Mick Jagger, Bob Marley, A Marijuana Leaf, Michel Foucault, Jacques Derrida, Noam Chomsky, Gloria Steinem, Oprah, Jesse Jackson, Michael Moore, Al Franken, Al Gore, Madonna, Hillary Clinton, Stewie Griffin, Bono, Sean Penn, Obama (doing his best Che Guevara) or Lady Gaga.

You can also order your lifetime supply of Dr. Phony’s Marxist-Feminist Postmodern Pseudo-Intellectual Academic Anesthetic – for lasting relief from the painful symptoms caused by inconvenient politically incorrect existential truths resulting from persistent reality and rational scientific thinking.

The patented holistic synergistic proprietary ingredients contained in Dr. Phony’s Marxist-Feminist Postmodern Pseudo-Intellectual Academic Anesthetic are specifically designed to provide time-released incoherent relativist ideologies and rationalizations, which help make even the most deviant and degenerate behavior and ideology seem acceptable and makes even the most ludicrous pseudo-intellectual bullshit seem entirely plausible, while at the same time alleviating cognitive dissonance and gently lulling academics into a perpetual semi-soporific state of high suggestibility, delusional euphoria and arrogant, pretentious, self-satisfied self-righteousness – all of which in turn helps ensure that they and their students push all the right buttons in the voting booth come election time.

The following clip shows Dr. Previous-Clouseau, PhD, reprising his demonstration of the proper techniques for first deploying the diversionary disguise, pretense and postmodern rhetorical sophistry necessary to lower resistance and skepticism in senior academic administrators.

Thus disarmed, the patient is then far more inclined to willingly and complacently accept the speculative theoretical Phony Marxist-Feminist Postmodern Pseudo-Intellectual Academic Diagnosis, Prescription and Cure – and thus acquiesce to the “administration” of the recommended dosage of Dr. Phony’s Marxist-Feminist Postmodern Pseudo-Intellectual Academic Anesthetic.

Dr. Previous-Clouseau also illustrates here how, in the event the postmodern pseudo-intellectual anesthetic ruse is discovered, it is best to remain calm and stay in character – and then just nonchalantly run away as quickly as possible.

You can later indignantly deny everything and just blame it all on the Nazis – and then explain why significant further funding and research will be needed for social justice. It works every time.


Anonymous said...

Bloggie - don't know if this section failed to post or if you elected to leave it out.

If there is a portion of this you prefer to edit please do so at your discretion - or if you want to leave the whole thing out - also your call.

Thanks again for your continued support of free speech - even free speech you may not always entirely agree with - which is, after all, the very definition of free speech.



Phony 3

After decades of meticulous work by thousands of Phony Phone Book Studies PhD’s, the Phonies are still only a few pages into the A’s in Book the First of the Pentateuch – namely, the New York City Telephone Directory – and that’s not even talking about the Yellow Pages.

Clearly it will be many centuries before any significant breakthroughs can be expected, but armies of dedicated grant-funded Phony Phone Book scholars, researchers and grad students will not relent, because the secret hidden meanings of the Sacred Phony Phone Book Scriptures must be revealed for the salvation of humanity and also because it’s for worldwide social justice and for the kids at Phony University.

Your charitable contributions to The Phony Foundation for Phony Phone Book Studies are most appreciated.

For more information about Phonyism or to inquire about becoming a Phony, please visit the Phony Legacy Foundation website at where you will find our informative downloadable brochure “So You Want to be a Phony? How to Phone-In Your Own Illustrious, Cushy, High-Salary, Bullshit Career in Phony Phone Book Studies or Phony Phone Book Academic Administration” and also Dr. Phony’s indispensable “Rules for Radical Phonies”.

You will also find information on Phony University, The Annual Phony Awards, The Phony Vagina Monologues (and please let’s not forget the Phony Penis Protocols!), The Phony Take Back the Phone Book Vigil, Banned Phony Phone Books Week, The Phony “Believe Me I’m Even More Clueless, Confused, Angry and Messed Up Than You Are” Summer Lilith Whine Fest, Phonies for Peace Social Justice and Self Esteem, The International Conference for Phony Studies, The Phony Department of Racist Phone Book White Pages Studies, Occupy THIS!, The Phony Office of Diversity and Multiculturalism, Club X-treme, The Phony Foucauldian Follies, The Phony Rasta White Boys for Ganja Consortium, The Phony Library, The Phony Code Pink Commando Guerilla Gurl Gangstas Who Refuse To Grow Up, The Phony Museum, The Phony Institute for Polymorphous Perversity, Louie the Loan Shark’s 24-7 Student Loans and Bail Bonds, The Phony Conservatory, The Re-Elect Another Phony Campaign Headquarters, Tatts for Tots, The Phony Rare Manuscripts Collection, The Phony School of Pretentious Ugly MoFo PoMo Propaganda Art, The Campus Phony LGBT&W(hatever) Contingent, The Students for Phony Rights Association, The Phony Blame It All On Stupid White Men Subaltern Department of Film and Theater of the Absurd Studies, The Ride My Phony PoMo Pony Continental Philosophy Club, The “Why Don’t You Just Go Tell It All To Your Mommy Instead?” Phony Nerds and Words Outpatient Therapy Poetry Slam, The Phony Center for Phonyism Across the Curriculum and applications for Phony Phone Book Studies Scholarships for Womyn and Minorities.


Anonymous said...

The Chronicle has El Gordo listed as the 55th highest paid university president in the US. Seem reasonable?

Anonymous said...

just series of posts intended as a diversion from the real issues facing higher education: budget cuts from state support, increased growth and control given to administrators, corporate takeover, political interference with programs and courses, underprepared direct from high school students, over assessment, rise of for profit online colleges, the mess that are MOOCs, etc.....

None of those posts are any evidence of the challenges facing higher education as none get to the issues of higher student debit, higher unemployment for graduates, cut in staff, faculty and services that students pay for, none address the financial crisis faced as state governments have systematically targeted K12 and colleges for extensive budget cuts over the last several years.

Anonymous said...

The votes have also been counted on the proposed supremacy clause being added to the Faculty Senate Constitution.

"243 votes were cast: 96 approved and 147 disapproved. Therefore, the
proposed amendments did not pass."

Anonymous said...

Bloggie, did you see this? Of course, nothing was mentioned by the Blade or the University about the fact that a Huntington Bank executive, Sharon Speyer, sits on the Board of Trustees. Question: is the bank paying a market based rent for the new location?

Anonymous said...

I agree. This looks bad. Jacobs Inc. just sails on oblivious against all common sense and ethical headwinds. Ship of Fools ...

Anonymous said...

Sorry for going off topic -- Does anyone know where I could find a jpeg or whatever of the old UT logo? The one with the Spanish slogan that might have led people to think of us as a legitimate institution of higher learning?

Anonymous said...

The resolution to revise the Constitution of Graduate Council to include the new clauses was also voted down, which were also declined by the College of Business and College of Natural Sciences and Math...

now the only question is whether..

"his wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift"

and then if so how will the faculty respond

Anonymous said...

Jacobs could decide to dissolve the offending governance bodies, but that will just add to the list of grievances that faculty could stike over. I was disappointed that faculty senate didn't take a vote of no-confidence before the end of the semester, but this will simply give Jacobs more time to do more offensive stuff. The faculty are watching, even during the summer!

jackthegroper said...

Meanwhile we can all practice the new ICare "10-5-2-screw" Rule. It's a Brave New World at the University of Toledo, but it does have its moments.

Anonymous said...

It won't be Jacobs to dissolve the offending bodies, but the BOT, in which case there is no grievance that can be filed successfully, I think.

Anonymous said...

The failures of the takeover clauses by consistently wide margins are, in my opinion, a de facto vote of no confidence. So what happens next?

Anonymous said...

Oh they are watching alright, and doing nothing. get it? If a decade goes by and many people are hurt while faculty watch - will you still call them sentinals?

Anonymous said...

"The Chronicle has El Gordo listed as the 55th highest paid university president in the US. Seem reasonable?"

For getting UT professors (STEM professors) to be listed among the 25 worst in the nation? It sure reads like the direction the self-destruct American capitalist (sorry Texas, I meant "free market") system's new achievement.

UT is a symptom of US economy, someone wrote on this blog some time ago. Surely, you can fuck up like Pryor, Gaboury, Kapoor, and the like and get away with obscene pay raises and bonues. If I were them, I would get out instead of being the target of ridicule, hate, and long-distance spitting...

This country's patricians are selling out US Labor piece by piece and using off-shore accounts to save their hides when the US is ready to go down the toilet. And servicemen have died by the millions to defend these patricians' way of life (not theirs!)... just remember them on Memorial Day because once these patricians have their way, they will abolish weekends, holidays, and vacations, and we will start working like millions in east and southeast Asia. Hey, did I mention the return of indentured slavery? Keep your businesses with Huntington, and you shall see your once glorious capitalism going down the drain.

Although I sure as hell would not want to see communists gain ground, but they would have pointed this out to you a long time ago, and we would have denounced such "red" propaganda in the name of freedom of speech, thinking, assembly, and the right to bear arms...well, selectively as some right-wingers envision it.

a science educator said...

Anonymous 12:34: I agree with 95 percent of what you say, but please provide evidence that the result is specifically the fault of STEM professors.

Anonymous said...

"El Gordo Supremo craps out"

Crap in (at Crony Island) --> Crap out (so now he is competing with The Blade)