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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Miracle of the Memorial Field House?


During March of 2010 there suddenly appeared in the presence of two astonished witnesses this miraculous apparition! Is it a powerful, cryptic message admonishing the Jacobs Administration for imposing a climate of fear on its vulnerable workforce? Does it portend in fact the collapse of the Jacobs Regime? All attempts by The Administration and even the Group of 12 to remove it during the past four months have mysteriously failed. Indeed, there is probably no budget or workforce anymore available to make it disappear during our lifetime. Meanwhile, word has spread. “Come see the Miracle of the Field House!” Crowds now gather to contemplate its meaning. Pilgrims arrive daily from afar. Some standing in silent awe interpret it as the Face of Provosts Past. Indeed, a nose and one eye are unmistakably emerging from behind the ruptured plaster and Chinese wallboard. Could it be an alien from beyond Orion? Perhaps not, but some have stared at length and said it is the Spirit of the Tenured Professoriate finally emerging to take back the Main Campus – and about time! Speculation and rumors are anyway rampant. You are welcome to contemplate it for yourself. Second Floor, West Wall, Memorial Field House. A Miracle sent to save this campus? Why not? Stranger things have happened.

14 comments:

Bloggie said...

Portents and Mysterious Events! Confess your sins. Rend your garments. Read a book before it's too late.
Prepare for the Jacopocalypse!

Anonymous said...

Like all the other "improvements" going on; fast, looks good on the outside for a little while, but underneath.........?

Anonymous said...

American colleges are spending a smaller share of their budgets on instruction, and more on recreational facilities for students and on administration, according to a new study of college costs.
See:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/10/education/10education.html?_r=1&src=twt&twt=nytimes
I must say, I am SHOCKED! :)

Anonymous said...

I laughed.

Anonymous said...

Another area of increased spending at the University of Toledo is the spending associated with companies that have nothing to do with the educational mission of the university.

Anonymous said...

Just wait till it rains!

Anonymous said...

If you look closely you can see Lord Gold's image. Let's auction it on Ebay.

Anonymous said...

Why wouldn't someone here alert facilities to the damage so they can repair it?

Anonymous said...

What? And desecrate a shrine?

Anonymous said...

Because they're more interested in petty snickering than constructive action.

Seen the Light said...

I attended an ASC meeting a couple of months back when one of the students government reps complained about tiles falling IN CLASSROOMS as the result of leaks in the MFH.

The dean had not returned his calls, although she did sit silent way in the back as he described his efforts to have this repaired.

It's all in the minutes of the meeting I am sure.

So it must be some sort of holy water thing going on. Maybe one can be cured of terrible diseases by approaching the hole-entity as a sincere supplicant. Maybe the board is really some sort of mystical cabal charged with stewardship of the phenomenon--that would sure explain a lot about their lack of earthly good sense in other areas.

They are a religious order/disorder. Take your pick

Gretchen Grunt said...

"Why wouldn't someone here alert facilities to the damage so they can repair it?"

Chuck Lehnert left town, and he took the key to the facilities tool shed (where they keep Jacobs' nine-pound hammer) with him.

Eva Klein is in Texas at the Higher Education Holdings stockholders meeting (where they will be paying dividends again this year).

Dan Johnson says his is interested in returning from his desert digs to take a cold-shower and then a look-see into what's-up.

Meanwhile the College Young Republicans led by Matt and Krystal have offered to stuff the hole with their naked bodies if that is what it takes to get rid of the liberal professors on this campus.

Stay tuned.

Watchful said...

Re Gretchen's comment.

All rings true except I would exempt Matt, who has more sense.

Certainly he has his own agenda and is quite aware there are many foolish liberal professors around UT, but he is not so pliable as the former student body prez who was used shamelessly by various powers-that-be and powers-that-wannabe-real- bad.

Re the latter, there was Uncle Jake who constantly used K to demonsrate a student involvement that did not exist; and then there was our own dear J-- we all remember when J introduced a clueless K in ASC to denounce the alleged racism of this sometime (often?) stupid, but demonstrably non-racist blog. To the embarrassment of all present, the poor young wpman obviously had no idea what she was talking about and, just as obviously, had not even read the alleged racist post. I don't think we are going to see J, either Little J or Big J, leading Matt around by the nose like this.

I'm surprised, though, that Jake hasn't suggested that Faculty each bring a repair kit and maybe a little patching plaster and paint to their classes each day. Maybe that can be part of the next CBA.

Anonymous said...

Re Watchful

Do the powers that wanna be real bad (PTWBRB) of which you speak include BP (not the oil spill company) and PPG (not the one on the NY Stock Exchange)?